...and that's a magic number

Waaaaah!! Can I import my old CNM? PLEASE?!

Having only recently moved to the town in which Mr. TY and I live, I hadn't had much of a chance to explore what the town has to offer in the way of OB/GYNs. For the last 5 or 6 years, I'd gone to a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) for my gynecological care. Cindy's awesome - she has always been supportive of my reproductive choices (i.e., baby timing, birth control choices, etc.), and encouraged me to be open and honest with her about when I felt the time was right to have a baby.

When I mentioned during my last annual exam that Mr. TY and I would probably start TTC within a year or two, and told her of the worries I have (I'm significantly overweight), she explained to me that while she wouldn't lie to me about possible complications that could arise from being overweight before and throughout prenancy, she assured me that she'd had many patients around my size that went through happy and healthy pregnancies, resulting in happy and healthy babies. She then changed a medication I'd been taking to one that had the same effect but was safer for pregnancy, just to start getting ready.

I decided that since we were in a new town, I should probably start seeing a new doctor. After all, there is a hospital in this new town, and I'd probably wind up delivering there, rather than at the one 35 minutes away, in the old town. I chose Dr. D based on the fact that she has an office in the new town, she takes my insurance, and I really liked her profile and video introduction on her medical group's website.

According to Dr. D's profile and video introduction, she prides herself on having an open dialogue with her patients, and talking with them, not down to them. She seemed very nice and very personable. Apparently, she's more of a salesperson than a doctor, and she's an expert in false advertising.

Her profile asserts that one of her hobbies is "immersing herself in cooking and cuisine." A ha! A fellow foodie! This'll be great - she may be a doctor, and I may be "just another fat chick who wants to get pregnant," but at least we'll have something to talk about, right? Right?!

Wrong.

At one point in our discussion, after she recommended Weight Watchers and gastric bypass (after telling me in not so many words that I'd probably either have a miscarriage or a baby with several birth defects, then tell me that of course if I did manage to get pregnant that "we'd certainly deal with you" - gee thanks), she mentioned that I should cut down on preprocessed foods. Um, what? Way to ASSume, lady. We're not perfect. The mister and I do enjoy a little bit of crap food on occasion, but by and large, our problem is not with the quality of our food. We have a quantity problem. I'll be the first to admit that portion control is an issue. But preprocessed food? Feh. Very little of what I eat is preprocessed. We subscribe to the theory of "perimeter shopping" - most of our groceries come from the perimeter of the grocery store, which in most stores is where the freshest, most healthful ingredients are located. Fresh produce, lean meats, dairy, etc. Of course we venture into the aisles to find baking supplies, vinegars, healthy oils, etc., but for the most part most of our items come from the perimeter. I told her that both my husband and I love to cook and that we always use fresh and healthful ingredients.

I thought that would be the perfect segue into making a connection on more than a doctor-patient level - a discussion about the joys of cooking - healthy cooking at that. Boy, was I ever wrong.

Her response? A tight, forced smile. "Uum, yeah, cooking is nice." So much for immersing yourself in cuisine and cooking. People who are passionate about something usually rejoice in finding someone to dish with (pun not intended). Maybe in her eyes I'm just a fat chick who has a pipe dream of getting pregnant and she doesn't feel she's allowed to show enthusiasm about the fact that I'd even mentioned food? And since I'm so fat, of course there's no way I'm not chowing down on Lunchables and Haagen-Dazs. Where the eyeroll icon when you need it?

I'm so non-confrontational it's disgusting, but even I was ready to give her what-for. But then she said the magic words: "and of course, I deliver in XYZtown." XYZtown is not the town in which I live.

When I said "oh, so you don't deliver at ABC Hospital," she looked visibly relieved. She vigorously shook her head and said "no, only in XYZtown - if you want to deliver at ABC Hospital, you'll need to see someone in 123 Medical Group." She then abruptly got up, shook my hand and said "well, thanks for stopping by," and walked out the door.

And with that, she was gone. So, I'll not be going back to her, but at least my non-confrontational self doesn't have to tell her why.

Or maybe I will.

I wonder if I can contact my CNM's office and see if she would have a recommendation?

posted by kat at 6:10 PM