Don't name it
One night last month, we were at that point in the evening where we knew "the deed" was a distinct possibility but not yet 100% confirmed (oh shut up, you know what I'm talking about). The hubby asked me the $64,000 question... "so, is this for fun or for profit?" I'd be lying if I said I wasn't momentarily confused. But hey - I was about to get some, you can't expect me be fully rational when "some" is in the offing.
So at that point, we began to classify the deed into two categories - fun and profit. Fun being the times where there's no chance of conception, profit being the times where we might just make ourselves a baby.
BIIIIIIIIIIG MISTAKE.
Even though we're not long into this whole procreation business, I already have a few words of advice. Okay, well, maybe 9 words:
DO.
NOT.
DO.
THIS.
IT.
JUST.
MAKES.
YOU.
NERVOUS.
"...and that's why Mommy and Daddy are going to hell."
Being in a corner unit, our apartment is blessed (no pun intended) with windows on two sides of the apartment, rather than just one. This means that not only do we have a view out the front of the building, but the side as well. Our computer room and bedroom windows have a great view of the fundie-type church next door. Heathens that we are, we thought it fairly ironic.
But... it gets better. The church's building - the place where the congregants gather - is quite obviously a manufactured house (that there's a fancy word for mobile home, which in and of itself is a fancy word for trailer). I don't know how it came about, but the fundie-type church has a new nickname.
My lovely husband has christened (pun fully intended) the place of worship "Our Lady of the Holy Double-Wide."
And this, dear baby-not-yet-conceived, is why Mommy and Daddy are going to hell. You're welcome to come along for the ride, but we'll be the ones driving the bus.
To save for college, or not to save for college?
Paying for college worries me, and part of me desperately wants to start a
529 plan. On one hand, my parents didn't pay for me to go to college, and I did okay. On the other hand, I'm $25K in debt. Back to the first hand, I'm a college dropout and I'd guess my parents would be rather pissed had they squirreled away a ton of money, only to see me not get a degree. Back the the second hand, not every kid goes to college, nor are they "college material."
So here I sit.
For an as-of-yet non-parent, I've spent quite a few years as a member of various internet communities geared toward parenting. Up until now, the draw has been that a lot of these folks are way cool. But as the time to have a baby gets closer and closer, the words I read there have started to take on a whole new meaning, which brings me to this post.
All of the boards I've been on have from time to time been peppered with discussions on how expensive school can be.
Public school. From fundraisers to book sales to field trips to school photos, from preschool all the way through prom, schools are so woefully underfunded that they are forced to turn to the parents to be their cash cows. Even back-to-school is pricey, what with all the new clothes and supplies. And apparently these days, the teachers are requiring more supplies than I ever had to bring.
As a child of parents who lived paycheck-to-paycheck with no viable means of savings (unless my dad cut out bowling and beer and my mom stopped smoking), I was always the kid who had to wait until the 11th hour to turn in my field trip permission slip (complete with a check written to the school and signed by my mom) because they didn't know if they'd have the money. I was always the kid with only a sandwich and
maybe a juice box, trolling the gift shop for something I had enough money to buy, while the other kids were having a grand old time snacking on their perfectly-packed, snack filled lunches and on their field trip gift shop spending sprees. I was the one who had to carefully choose one book from the bargain rack with the
maybe $5.00 mom was able to scrounge from her purse the morning of Book Sale Day while the other kids brought in a couple of crisp Tens or Twenties and went to town. I was always the kid who never had enough notebooks, paste, glue, crayons, markers, rulers, pens, pencils, scissors, whatever. I was the kid who had sucky dioramas because we didn't have enough materials at home to make them, but my parents didn't have enough money to buy the materials anyway. And even if we'd had the money, my mom worked nights and my dad was so uninvolved that he wouldn't have brought me to the store anyway - it always had to wait for the weekend, which most of the time was too late.
And we
never had a frickin' shoebox.
I distinctly remember one field trip in particular where we went to Mystic Seaport. The money I had been given for lunch and souvenirs wasn't even enough to cover lunch, and a chaperone took pity on me and covered the rest. And then there was a freak downpour, and the same chaperone ponied up money from her own wallet to buy me a cheap rain poncho. To this day, I can't even describe how embarrassing it was to be the kid for whom Christina's mom had to buy a rain poncho.
In junior high, I didn't go to the graduation dance, because the only gown I could find that was appropriate that fit me properly was deemed "too expensive" by my mother. She said "I might spend that much on a prom dress, but not for 9th grade graduation!" Ironically enough, she spent 4x that amount on my prom dress, but not without having to cash in a couple of savings bonds I got at birth.
Anyway, enough complaining. I think I've made my point, LOL.
The bottom line is that my parents never thought to prepare for that kind of thing, and while I know I can't spare my child every pain and embarrassment that might come his or her way, I want to have some control over the preventable. In other words, I don't want my child being the one caught out in the rain without a poncho.
I think what I'd much rather do is start a savings account with a high-interest yield and deposit money into that, and use the money for all school-related expenses throughout my child's life. Book Sales, fundraisers, field trips, dances, prom... all of it. My child will participate as he or she sees fit. And while I will keep a rein on the account and not just give the kid carte-blanche to run roughshod through the balance*, neither will my child have to suffer the embarrassment of being the one who can't participate. And whatever's left will help pay for college expenses.
*Honestly, I probably won't even tell the kid of the account's existence until he or she starts a family of his or her own. Our child will be taught the value of a dollar, and will be taught to have a good work ethic. The child will grow up knowing that you have to work for what you get. And if there is ever a time where my child does not participate in a school activity, it won't be for lack of funds or my unwillingness to plunk down the cash for "just another school ripoff." It will be through choices he or she made as to the kind of person they are, as part of teaching them that their actions have consequences.
Name change!
I changed my name... rather than Mrs. TwoYears, it's now just "Me." The hubby thought the original name was silly - but didn't say what name he thought would be better. He's always on my butt about that kind of thing - don't say you don't like it without giving an alternative.
So honey... what should it be? {bats eyelashes}
